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Posted - 7/19/2010 7:50:43 PM |
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Chris Johnson Signs New Contract
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You may have read that Chris Johnson signed a new contract today. He did indeed, as he was officially inked as the Roving Gamblers new franchise player.
Football, baby. It's starting... |
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Posted - 7/19/2010 9:47:37 PM |
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Damn,
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I was really hoping you'd say he signed with the Medical Center. Our franchise player retired after seeing how bad things got last season.
Since I need a new franchise player, I decided to go with the only sensible method for choosing. I put all of my players' names into a hat and picked one (btw, who is P McAffe and why is he on my roster in place of Lance Moore?). I'm proud to announce that the Medical Center's franchise player for the 2010 season is...
Shonn Greene |
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Posted - 7/24/2010 11:09:45 PM |
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Deal is cut.
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Just minutes after the NHL rejected Ilya Kovalchuk's 17 year, $102 million dollar contract with the Devils, the Syndrome (formerly the Burnsville Bruins), of Critical, Maine signed their first official Franchise Player. It was a one year, $550,000 contract with a six month Gatorade contract (all you can wear), and tickets to see five nights of fucking epic metal with Early Man (no Keith, I can't go...but Rashard Mendenhall is psyched!). He'll meet you in Tulsa on the 30th. But if he's not there it's because his bye isn't until the next week...
Football!
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Posted - 7/27/2010 9:56:16 AM |
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Blast
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| Ray Fuckin Rice. Keeper. Ya'll done. |
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Posted - 7/27/2010 10:36:22 AM |
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Woo hoo! Keeper time!
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This is one of my favorite times of year. I love seeing keepers. I wish they could be broadcast on TV or something.
So who do we have so far? The Blast keep Ray Rice, the Syndrome keep Rashard Mendenhall, the Gamblers keep Chris Johnson, the awesomely-named WRMC keep Shonn Greene, and the Splitters keep Big Ben*. Anyone else?
*Keepers selected for Keith are considered binding and override any future claims he has on a certain Viking RB. |
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Posted - 7/27/2010 3:41:12 PM |
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I am really pissed!
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| I wanted Ben in the first! Damn you keith! |
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Rush
Football Freak
529 posts
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Fu: 99.57 |
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Posted - 7/27/2010 4:37:48 PM |
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The Rush Make the following announcement
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| Drew Brees QB 'Aints keeper |
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Rush
Football Freak
529 posts
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Fu: 99.57 |
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Posted - 7/27/2010 4:44:11 PM |
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I'm not sure but!
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| If Big Ben's suspension remains at 6 games instead of being reduced to 4, Keith may opt to keep Matt Stover. (he's good) |
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Posted - 7/28/2010 6:07:11 AM |
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kent got it right long ago
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| i only go after Elite kickers |
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Posted - 7/28/2010 6:19:24 AM |
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2010 schedule
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i fixed the schedule generator so that it varies the schedule from season to season (everyone please audit theirs), and it looks like this year the Gambles won the lottery... that is, IF the Rush are going to bench Brees for the opening thursday night game of the season?
i still can't decide if that's the most noble thing i've ever heard, or the most retarded.
in any case, fuck those Saints! can't wait for some sweet revenge... |
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Maulers
Football Freak
997 posts
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Fu: 100.96 |
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Posted - 7/28/2010 8:03:34 AM |
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Maulers sigh landmark deal!
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Due to the uncertain labor situation in the NFL this season, the Maulers have proposed an unprecidented contract with DeAngelo Williams. The exact details have yet to be released, but insiders say it is filled with incentives, many of them quite unusual. A source close to the team claims that one such provision states: "The party of the first part agrees to compensate the party of the second part handsomely if the party of the third part, namely Jonathan Stewart, were to have an unfortunate accident. Sometimes people fall asleep under the wheels of the team bus. It happens."
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Posted - 7/28/2010 9:38:30 AM |
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Dynasty's franchise player is really good
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Peyton Manning has agreed to terms with the Koo Dynasty for a 3rd year. "This is an organization committed to winning and to doing a lot of TV commercials," Manning said while simultaneously shooting spots for Sharp, ESPN, Reebok, Oreos, Sprint, MasterCard, DirecTV, Gatorade, Nerf, Sony, Wheaties, T-Mobile, Radioshack, Best Buy, Tag Heuer, Bank of America, Fathead, GoDaddy.com, Corona, Lexus, Eddie Bauer, M&Ms, and Axe Bodyspray.
"Due to my lucrative endorsement deals I've agreed to restructure my contract to create more cap space for us to pursue elite free agents like Matt Stover," Manning continued, "And I'd like to also take this opportunity to thank my newest sponsors like American Express, HBO, USA Today, Audi, Visa, J Crew, Ray-Ban, Harley-Davidson, IKEA, Barnes & Noble, John Deere, Johnson & Johnson, Amazon.com, Red Roof Inns, Expedia, Discovery Card, Discovery Channel, Discovery Museum, and the Capital One Card."
Manning concluded by asking "What's in your wallet?" |
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Rush
Football Freak
529 posts
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Fu: 99.57 |
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Posted - 7/28/2010 7:37:47 PM |
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Isn't it a little early to be talkin' smack?
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| You don't even have your roster filled out and your talkin' shit. Last year is over, and nobody remembers yesterday! Week 2 the ass kickin' will commence. |
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Posted - 7/29/2010 5:58:55 PM |
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Bass Franchise Announcement
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Franchise Player: Maurice Jones-Drew
Rookie Rule: LeSean McCoy
6th Round Pick: CJ Spiller
19th Round Pick: Chan Gailey
2010 Ragnarok Champ (3 times...)
2011 Franchise: Maurice Jones-Drew
2011 Rookie Rule: CJ Spiller
Thank you |
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Posted - 7/30/2010 10:28:49 AM |
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To the teams who haven't declared keepers yet
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What the hell are you waiting for? Your roster ain't gonna magically get better--choose from your crappy options and let's get on with it.
Otherwise you face serious sanctions--the 5 MB/day fine for a late declaration. This rule is to Ragnarok as traveling is to the NBA--in other words, an relatively empty threat. Or is it? Commish? |
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Posted - 7/30/2010 10:35:37 AM |
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Suggested 2011 Rule Change
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| Now that we've had the same 12 guys for multiple years, and there's a rule that keepers are not required, I say that anyone who can't get their act together to select their franchise player by midnight on 8/1 either through the message board, their team page, or by contacting Keith directly, just doesn't get to keep anyone. We could call it the Factor Rule. |
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Early Men
Football Freak
3322 posts
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Fu: 124.22 |
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Posted - 7/30/2010 10:53:22 AM |
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Deadline is midnight on July 31
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| after that, Pfleuger automatically gets Michael Vick. |
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Posted - 7/30/2010 1:02:54 PM |
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I'd be willing to donate
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| Kurt Warner to anyone who misses the announcement deadline (if it's more than one person, they can arm wrestle over who gets him). Getting a HoF QB isn't exactly the worst punishment for missing the deadline. |
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Posted - 7/30/2010 3:30:21 PM |
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Carry Over?
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| Their previous FP is the default choice. If they traded or dumped their FP during last season, they follow the new "No FP" rule...easy. |
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Posted - 7/30/2010 5:41:03 PM |
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I like syndrome's Idea.
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| Although, there really is no excuse. |
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Maulers
Football Freak
997 posts
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Fu: 100.96 |
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Posted - 7/30/2010 7:23:23 PM |
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I like the Gamblers idea
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| No excuse is correct! |
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Posted - 7/30/2010 7:56:29 PM |
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I don't like the carryover. I do like the No Excuse Rule.
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| Automatic carryover could reward someone who doesn't deserve to be rewarded. |
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Posted - 7/30/2010 7:57:22 PM |
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Thunder make their selection
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not that i like being a secretary, but Gustafson doesn't have an internet connection and the tea baggers got rid of all the libraries in minnesota.
tapping into the long tradition of Bengal greatness, the Thunder officially pick Cedric "The Entertainer" Benson as their 2010 Franchise Player.
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Posted - 7/31/2010 4:38:48 PM |
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Skullsplitters make early announcement of franchise player
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| normally waiting until the deadline, this year i've decided to make an early and bold pick: Adrian Peterson |
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Posted - 7/31/2010 7:03:53 PM |
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Hitmen franchise
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| Randy 'straight cash' Moss |
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Posted - 7/31/2010 8:06:16 PM |
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Is the new rookie rule in effect?
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| I kinda feel like it shouldn't be in effect for this year. But if it is, I'd like to lock in RB Donald Brown in the 8th round. |
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Posted - 8/1/2010 9:28:51 AM |
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new rookie rule effects take place with new draft class of 2010
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| starting in 2011, you can dclare a rookie for a particular round. Early Man. |
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Posted - 8/1/2010 8:58:03 PM |
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Good, that's only fair
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| Glad the rookie rule starts in 2010, just didn't want to miss out on the Colts backup RB. That's gold, Jerry. Gold! |
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