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Patton was a Vikings Fan! |
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Rush
Football Freak
529 posts
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Fu: 99.57 |
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Posted - 1/21/2010 5:45:50 PM |
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Patton was a Vikings Fan!
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Found this little beuty, thought you might enjoy!
Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won an NFC Championship by getting injured for his team. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard get injured for his team. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about the Vikings not advancing to the Super Bowl, wanting to end their season and take a head coaching job in Buffalo, is a lot of horse dung. Vikings traditionally love playing in the Super Bowl. All real Viking fans love the thought of appearance number five. When you were kids, you all admired the Purple People Eaters, Chuck Foreman, Fran Tarkenton, and Bud Grant. Vikings fans love a winner and will not tolerate a loss!! Vikings play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a Vikings player who lost and laughed. That’s why the Vikings have never lost and will never lose to the Saints in the playoffs. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to the Vikings.
Now, the Vikings are a football team. It blocks, runs, passes and tackles as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap...except for Brett Favre every once in awhile. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for ESPN don’t know anything more about real football than they do about fornicating.
We have the finest players and scheme, the best spirit and the best men in the NFL. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to block the bastards, we’re going to run them into the ground and score at will. We’re going to pound those lousy bastards for four quarters.
Now, some of you fans, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out during the game and lose faith. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. Nachos and Barbeque are the enemy. Wade into them!! Spill that cheesedip!! Take Tums for your belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's cheese quesadilla dip, you'll know what to do.
Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are going three and out. We’re not going three and out the whole game. Let the Fleuer do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose!!
There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you how the Minnesota Vikings did in the 2009 NFC Championship, you won’t have to say, "Well, they played like shit in Louisiana."
Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys down to Miami.
That’s all. |
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Posted - 1/26/2010 6:28:04 AM |
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life as a Vikings fan
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Vikes Saints
Total Yards 475 257
1st Downs 31 15
Total Plays 82 55
Possession 36:49 27:56
That is a total ass whupping on the Saints. The killer stat? 5 turnovers. What an f'n nightmare.
What's it like being a Vikings fan? Purple Jesus Diaries says it well:
"Welcome home, old friend: And when Garrett Hartley’s 40 yard field goal sailed through the uprights to secure a 31-28 win for the New Orleans Saints Sunday night in overtime, a win that would send them to their first franchise Super Bowl appearance, Minnesota Vikings fans turned to their left and found an old friend sitting next to them on their couch. It was that sense of déjà vu, of repeated mistakes, curses, disappointment and almosts. It was that feeling in the pit of your stomach that is a mixture of disbelief, anger, resentment, aloofness, acceptance, and indifference.
Everything that Minnesota sports fans saw as the din of a Saints NFC Championship celebration played muffled in the background was familiar, because we’d all been here before. Call it a curse, call it bad luck, call it just being a Minnesota sports fan, but none of it was very surprising. It just is. It’s something that we’ve all come to expect and often times, unfortunately, accept. Not even the ludicrousness of signing former rival and hated quarterback Brett Favre, aka you Land Baron asshole, could save this franchise from itself.
And as another opportunity escaped Viking fans hands the real loss wasn’t found in a missed Super Bowl opportunity, or success for the teams players. No, the real loss was found in every single fan that had seen this coming at the start of the year and had lived through this in years past. It was the fatalistic feeling that success was never going to happen. Whether true or not, it has ended up being a self fulfilling prophecy and the lasting effects are greater. Sure, we’ll all be around next season predicting another 12 to 14 win season, but deep down we’ll all know better. We’ll all know better because we’ve lived through this year, and with last night’s loss another dagger was driven into our unbridled passion and blind faith. Vikings fans have always been skeptical of success, and now even more so. And that’s the real loss."
You can read the full column here.
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Maulers
Football Freak
997 posts
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Fu: 100.96 |
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Posted - 1/27/2010 8:33:45 PM |
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Sorry dudes
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| I was pulling for ya, but Favre will be Favre. Ya know what yer getting with him. And now we get the endless months of Retirement Drama 4.0. |
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Rush
Football Freak
529 posts
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Fu: 99.57 |
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Posted - 2/2/2010 3:04:28 AM |
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Run Forest Run
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After a week of salivating out of the corner of my mouth and washing my hair with my own feces, I have finally started to come to grips with the realization that the Vikings did it to me again. How could this happen? I promised myself I would never let something like this happen to me again. But, I did! I put up the barriers. I bricked myself up in a fortress so I could never be hurt again. It didn't work. I thought hating the off season acquisition of the Brett Farve would be the separation that I needed, but it wasn't enough.
It came to me after watching Forest Gump for the umpteenth million time that I am in an unhealthy relationship with an uncaring bitch. Bare with me for a bit as I explain this dumb ass analogy. First the introduction of characters. Forest, the star is a lovable man that against all adversity is an optimist, and no matter the adversity (even war) he never hurts his fellow man. Second is Mama, she is the yardstick for which Forrest measures his successes and keeps him grounded. Of course there is his bestest good friend Bubba, in him Forrest sees his own strengths and weaknesses and allows himself to be a stronger person because of these vulnerabilities. Then there is Jenny, the two bit whore who continually stomps on our heros heart each time he gathers enough strength to carry on without her, she steps back into his life just to break his heart again.
Now the analogy part;
Mama is the NFL, she is Roger Goodall in a housecoat. She is nurturing yet firm, a mentor and disciplinarian. Giving life to the franchise in '61.
Jenny is the self serving, one sided lover known as the Vikings always taking, in return giving us teasing glimpses of Nirvana. To blame her for all of our hurt would be wrong and unfair. Yes she shits on our feelings, to blame her for never giving us what we desire is undeserved. As Jenny was brought up in an abusive home, the Vikings were brought up in an abusive NFC central filled with the likes of Vince Lombarty, George Hallis, Walter Peyton, and Berry Sanders. If they were born earlier, say in the 40's or 50's they would have gotten their World Championship. Hell they were handing them out like candy even the Detroit Lions got one. One the other hand to say she is without fault would be short sided as well. She was an adult when she fooled around with men like Les Steckel, Hershal Walker, and Red McCombs.
Bubba, god bless him, is the fans of the Cleveland Browns. For all the crap that the world has dumped down on them. They still show up every Sunday with a glimmer of hope in their eye, cheering on for what they know isn't likely to happen. Those poor fools.
Forest our hero, starts off with as many set backs as one could and yet he still overcomes them. No matter what the challenge he finds a way to surmount. I know none of us live up to the purity of his nature, or the determination of his will. Though we wish to have many of these attributes, we fall short as we are merely mortal.
As I see it, we the fans of the Vikings are represented by Lieutenant Dan. He is the van guard of steadfast loyalty, to his mission, men, and his word. He is not with out his faults, but even with them he is a man of honor. He can be beaten down, but he gets back up. He loses his legs, but he returns and walks again. With the wisdom he shares with our hero on the battlefield, on the boat, and in New York we gain insight to our own strength.
In the end it comes back to wisdom that our hero share with nearly every one he meets "Stupid is as stupid does". So until I learn to insulate myself a bit further and build the walls to my fortress a little higher. I better get used to disappointment.
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Posted - 2/7/2010 5:21:06 PM |
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Never have I been so underwhelmed by a Superbowl
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| and no, i'm not bitter. fuckers. |
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Posted - 2/7/2010 11:12:20 PM |
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I thought it was a great game.
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| It wasn't exactly the shootout that everyone was hoping for, but it was a good back and forth game. The onside kick to start the second half was great - if nothing else, it made everyone immediately forget the "mediocre at best" performance of The Who (and I love The Who, but they really should retire). |
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Rush
Football Freak
529 posts
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Fu: 99.57 |
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Posted - 2/8/2010 2:29:31 PM |
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I couldn't agree more!
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| Is it possible to agree with both of you? Watching the game yesterday I couldn't help but think to myself, this is a good game. It has a bit of everything, except for defense! But to be honest I found myself about as excited about it as if it were English premiere soccer. I just was totally ambivalent. |
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Rush
Football Freak
529 posts
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Fu: 99.57 |
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Posted - 2/8/2010 11:51:14 PM |
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Oh dear god it's true
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| So I just finished an article on of my favorite Viking blogs and he mentioned the fact that since 1990 only two teams from the NFC have not represented the conference in the Super bowl. Could this be true, the lowly Lions and the mighty Vikings are absent members from the big game? So I went to Pro-footballReference.com and Damn-it it was true. How can this happen how could teams like the Cardinals/Saints leap frog the 5th highest winning percentage team, or those Johnny come lately Panthers. All I have to say is, It's our turn! |
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Posted - 3/7/2010 6:11:51 AM |
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What is Worse?
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| A pathological sexual deviant or a dog killer? Both have the #7. |
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Posted - 3/15/2010 2:32:42 PM |
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survey says: "dogkiller"
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| at least the sexual deviant won me a championship. |
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